god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
