Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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