he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
