she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
