I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
