Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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