Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
