i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
