nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize