I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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