If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
