making cat noises will not fix the situation.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
