i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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