So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
wrigley field is MILF paradise
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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