Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
