We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
