It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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