I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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