dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You need Xanax blowdarts
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
