Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
