You can't motorboat a personality
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
