I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
