you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
