do herpes really smell.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I deserve this hangover.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
