I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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