That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
