All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
