me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
