If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize