We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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