..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
