I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize