turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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