Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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