I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
