I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You ruined the universe
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize