Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
