Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
