Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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