This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
