There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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