Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
