I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize