I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
