How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize