i wish there were pregnant emoticons
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
