Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize