bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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