if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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