Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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