you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
