On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
