i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
