It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
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Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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