that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
