Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
