Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
