I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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