Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
