you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize