No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
