Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
