Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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