he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
