stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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