and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
