..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
